Poorly Conceived Idea for a Crime a Day

Day 1:
5 men enter a bank. One of them has a a gun, 4 of them have bananas. The one with a gun then steals the bananas from the other 4, and leaves.

Day 8:
Put up posters around the city that read "Your TV is currently on." While everyone in the city is at home, you have complete control. Wander the streets, break into any store you want, try on fancy clothes, eat meals at chic (but abandoned) restaurants, take anything you want.

Day 18:
Train a dog to sell an herbal tonic for relieving lower back pain. Send the dog throughout the 1870s American Midwest.

Day 23:
Upload a high-definition copy of "The Wedding Planner" to the internet. As finances of the creative industry dry up, create your own series of movies about a down-on-his-luck ace fighter pilot who needs to make one last, great flight before he retires.

Day 36:
Teach baboons how to swim.

Day 48:
Create papier-mâché croutons. Use a dried sponge to daub on a light color to imply the crouton's texture. Do not eat. Place papier-mâché croutons in left sleeve. Walk into restaurant with salad bar. Hide real croutons in right sleeve, replacing them with the false croutons from the left sleeve. On the way out, take the cash register.