Thursday, April 30, 2009

Blog that Explains Science, Badly

Fission, okay? So fission is basically, well, it's a nuclear process. You're splitting the atom, which releases energy. Although don't think of it like splitting an egg, you know, if you've ever split an egg. Think of it more as 235 tightly bound...ideas. Because a neutron and a proton is really just a construct, it's not a well-defined thing, like a sphere. But anyway, have I mentioned the strong nuclear force? The strong nuclear force basically holds together the nucleus, kind of like glue holds together a bunch of balls that have been glued together. But don't think of the protons and neutrons as balls! Because if you do, this next part won't make any sense...


DNA is a complicated molecule. It's an acid (that's the A part), that is made up of bits of information. The information is the genetic material. Think of it like a computer that has a hard drive made up of two anti-parallel nucleotide polymers. But this computer doesn't run a typical operating system. Instead it copies parts of itself into RNA (kind of like a computer uses RAM as a brief copy of the OS to pull instructions from, but the actual instructions remain on the hard drive. These instructions are then accessed by the computer's CPU, which processes each command as it comes up. [kind of like uncovering a fossil. Each layer of rock strata must be uncovered in the opposite order that it was laid down. So first the paleontologist must dig carefully through the most recent layers, before he works his way farther and farther down. Each layer tells scientists something about that time. For instance, there is a point, called the K-T boundary, in which scientists have noticed a massive extinction event, and unusually large traces of iridium. Iridium is primarily found in meteorites, leading some to speculate that an asteroid must have hit the earth, depositing the iridium {kind of like how we have leftover bits of genetic material in our genetic code that appears to be from viruses. We have indicators of these viruses on our DNA, which is the set of instructions our body uses to create new cells...


Gravitation is interesting, sure, but without the background in calculus, there's no way to really, truly understand it. I can try to explain it, but unless you know how to find a Lagrangian, good fucking luck understanding it. Basically, an object tries to minimize its potential energy using the minimum kinetic path. Really? You don't understand that? Okay, well seriously, take some fucking calculus.


Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Daily Blog of Anyone Know What's Happening?

Okay, so I've got the blog up, so if anyone knows any great blogging material, just go ahead and let me know.

Go ahead and email.

Anybody hear about anything? Anything at all? Even if you don't think it's worth commenting on, I'll comment on it. Really.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

New Unconventional Excercise Regimine Every Day

Lift cheese over your head. Yell "I am lifting cheese!" Repeat 5,000 times.


Put one hand behind your back. Place your foot on that hand. Look up and down quickly. Disengage knees. Careful: Don't flex your back. That could cause tendinitis and muscle fatigue.


Insert Mike Tyson's Punch Out! into your Nintendo Entertainment System. Play for several hours. Rest for 15 minutes. Resume play.


Run 3.4 miles NW. Run another 1.3 miles E. Enter building. Hand receptionist $1300. Receive liposuction.


Climb Mt. Everest, because it is there. Repeat 3 times a day.


At Olive Garden, you're family. Eat a bunch of goddamned breadsticks until, enraged, you try to tear down the building with your own hands.


Twirl around really really fast. Throw up everything that isn't muscles. You will be left with muscles.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Trying To Figure Out How To Blog Every Day

test test test


This text is for my web log, also known as a blog. If this text appears elsewhere, please disregard.


Is this up on the blog? What about this?


There seems to be some problem with the blog. I am not sure what it is, but I'm pretty sure something's wrong.


Anyone tried to comment yet? If it doesn't work, leave a comment. If that doesn't work, send a letter to "" If you don't include postage, the Post Office will not deliver the letter.


Is this blogging?


How many blogs can I have before it overloads the system? I don't want to crash the internet.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Daily Review of a Barber Shop Blog

A Cut Above
567 5th St

A Cut Above was pretty good. The barber listened to what I wanted, and didn't try to make a lot of smalltalk about the weather. Price was decent.


The Barber of Savingsville
65 W 35th St

Haircut was cheap. Magazines were notably sub-par (Cracked instead of Mad, FHM instead of Maxim, The Wall Street Journal instead of Hustler).


Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow
365 5th Ave

Staff kept asking questions. "Why do you need a haircut? It looks like you just got a haircut. Why do you get a haircut every day? What's a blog? Why are you taking notes? Would you like a shampoo?"


The Tortoise and the Hair
653 E 84th St

Barbicide at this shop had an unpleasant taste. Barbers gave customer/reviewer weird looks.


The Ziegfeld Folicles
1652 Broadway

Spent too much time fiddling with ears and shifting my head for no reason.


Hair-y Hair-dini
135 2nd St

Inferior smocks.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Blog With a Name of a Relatively Unknown Disease Every Day

  • Mike-and-Ike Flu
  • Trucker's Nose
  • Disco Inflammation
  • Oregon Trail Disease
  • Flummoxitis
  • Bear Ass
  • Scurvy Merit Badge
  • Plague of Vests
  • Poopypants
  • Dr.-Stretham-Can't-Think-of-a-Name-for-This-Disease-Right-Now-Disease
  • Eye of the Kaiser

Friday, April 24, 2009

Daily Blog of New Jelly Bean Flavors

Every day, fresh from the Jelly Bean Laboratory, another brand new jelly bean flavor.
  • Antacid flavored jelly bean.
  • Water flavored jelly bean.
  • Rice flavored jelly bean.
  • Grape Steak flavored jelly bean.
  • Tab flavored jelly bean.
  • Morning Breath flavored jelly bean.
  • Calcium deposit flavored jelly bean.
  • Tapas flavored jelly bean.
  • Unbelievably Sweet jelly bean.
  • Garlic Shrimp flavored jelly bean.
  • Can't Put Your Finger On The Flavor jelly bean.
  • Freeze-Dried Ice Cream flavored jelly bean.
  • The taste you get when you hit your elbow flavored jelly bean.
  • Orange flavored Kool-Aid flavored jelly bean.
  • Refried beans flavored jelly bean.
  • Tallow flavored jelly bean.
  • Brie flavored jelly bean.
  • General Tso's flavored jelly bean.
  • Pepto-Bismol flavored jelly bean.
  • Candy Corn flavored jelly bean.
  • More Cherry Flavor Than You Can Possibly Imagine flavored jelly bean.
  • Mayonnaise flavored jelly bean.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Blog of Reasons I'm Better than You, Updated Every Day

  • Do you have a blog? WELL, DO YOU?
  • Hey, guess what? I've got money. Gobs of it.
  • Shut up, loser.
  • See this tattoo? It's Chinese for "Number 1 Awesome." That means that, at best, you could be Number 2 Awesome. But I doubt you're even that.
  • I just updated my blog. Did you? Well, big deal. Check out the royalty chex that Google Adsense are cutting me. Can you say Kah-ching? Then say it!
  • Made you flinch!
  • I do a lot of volunteer work. Mostly at senior centers.
  • I started wearing my hat backwards before anyone else. You're lucky if you put your pants on the right way.
  • See that picture? That's a picture of Jean Claude Van Damme. AUTOGRAPHED.
  • What's that over there? Oh, made you look! Sucker.
  • I've got the shiniest fucking trophies you've ever seen.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Another Word For Snow Every Day Blog

It is an undeniable fact that the Inuit have 39 words for snow, but English actually has more. This blog will prove this by posting another word for snow, in English, every single day.
  1. snow
  2. flurry
  3. ice crystals
  4. hexagonal solid water
  5. snowflakes
  6. fluffy snow
  7. like rain, but nicer
  8. precipitation
  9. frozen water things
  10. ice cream, minus cream
  11. feather hail
  12. tiny falling clouds
  13. granular ocean dust
  14. a christmas miracle
  15. god's dandruff
  16. crystalline water
  17. unique weather droplets
  18. graupel
  19. no-school heralds
  20. hexagonal prisms
  21. construction material for sphere-based creations (e.g. men, ballistic weapons)
  22. snowmobile asphalt
  23. depth hoar
  24. oh my goodness, just look at it! so pretty!
  25. dendrites
  26. ground blanket
  27. slush
  28. unflavored slurpee
  29. sun-reflecting chips
  30. penitentes
  31. spring primer
  32. one-per-tongues
  33. frost
  34. principal's lament
  35. salt's natural enemy
  36. the insides of an old freezer, falling
  37. firn
  38. sweater-clingers
  39. ...god damn it.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Excuse for Not Blogging Every Day Blog

  • Sorry guys, can't blog today, I've got a wicked eye infection.
  • Can only do a quick update to let everyone know I WILL blog, just not today. Really busy with work.
  • Can't find my blogging keyboard. Once I find it, I'll update more.
  • Excuse for Not Blogging Every Day Blog's parents are in town, so I won't have many chances to update. We're going to see the Space Needle!
  • You won't see many updates for a little bit; just got laid off, and I'll have to spend more time looking for work.
  • Updating from the library today. You can only use each terminal for 20 minutes, and there's a huge line, so I won't be able to post much today. Sorry guys!
  • Looking in to moving from Blogger to Wordpress, and then from there to Livejournal, which is causing all sorts of problems.
  • Found a new job, which doesn't let me blog from work. I'll still try to post when possible, but updates will be a lot more infrequent.
  • Can't update today, my liver feels sort of flighty. I think it may be rotating.
  • No blogging for today. Sunny day, going to go for a walk!
  • In the middle of making a grilled cheese. At that crucial stage between toast and burnt, so no time to blog today! Tomorrow! I promise!
  • Sorry everyone, I'm in the middle of litigation regarding this blog. It turns out there's another blog, called Excuse For Not Updating My Blog Every Day, which predates this blog by about 3 months. I'm not allowed to do update this blog during the trial.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Daily Reason To Read This Blog Blog

  • This blog is educational. You can learn a lot about this blog by reading this blog.
  • If you do not read this blog, you will never know what is happening in this blog.
  • How else will you know what's going down with this blog?
  • C'mon. C'mon!
  • There is no better way to know what is happening in this blog than to simply read this blog.
  • Get it straight from the horse's mouth.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Daily Blog of oh hell i just give up

Hey guys, gunna start a new daily blog. Going to update it every day and everything.

I guess.

We'll see.

You know what? Screw this. I'm done.


Going to give this whole blogging thing another shot uhhhhhhhh fuck this.




Today while I was watching tv I saw something great, it was a commercial about a guy with a hand made of rubber or something you know what forget it, if you see it great but if not you don't need me telling you about it.



Saturday, April 18, 2009

Daily Name For A Knot

  • The Double Tuck and Switch
  • The Overhand Sailor's Twist
  • The Half-Buckingham
  • The Slipshod
  • The Terminal Link
  • The Chained Loop
  • The Polyknot
  • The Hangman's Granny
  • The Mobius Circle
  • The Eyelash of the Elephant
  • The Concerned Parent
  • Two Loops, Another Loop, Then a Twist
  • The Caddy's Buddy
  • Intestines of a Lying Nun

Friday, April 17, 2009

Daily Blog, Trying Too Hard For A Book Deal

You know, I'm so glad I get these millions and millions of pageviews every day. It really shows that you all care, and would care enough to even buy something of mine. Well, that's all I've got for today. But tomorrow, they'll be more hard-hitting blogging.


This is what really matters you know, not the people saying what's important, but the people implying what's important, reading something on the net, spending time posting comments, that's what's important, that's the real meaning of life, and that's the future of publishing: taking PROVEN LITERARY MATERIAL and reposting it to paper. There is no reason anymore to take chances on UNPROVEN authors, or dying dinosaur authors of paper books. The future is blogs, you know? Printed blogs.


Hey guys, just practicing going from town to town, signing my name into book jackets. Been hanging out in book stores, talking to people. If I ever have a book come out, I will be fricking great at book signings. I've done it. It's nothing new to me now.


I love this blog. I love it. I just wish that it wasn't so ephemeral, you know? I want this blog in some sort of physical form. Not for me, mind you, but for you. I know you've read this blog faithfully, but will it still be here for your children to read? After a hundred years, will still be up, so people can read my old blog? I don't know. But I know you're worried about it. OH IF ONLY THERE WAS SOMETHING RANDOM HOUSE COULD DO TO CORRECT THIS.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Blog With A Situation Incorrectly Labeled As a Catch-22

Went to McDonald's to get a breakfast McChyrup, the sandwich made of waffled Chicken McNuggets filled with syrup. Only wanted one, which was 2.19. But they were on sale, 2 for the $2.00. I only wanted one, people! Total Catch-22.


Building a tool shed. Hit my thumb with my hammer while building it. The pain hurt, but so did the Catch-22-iness of it all.


Taking the subway home, late at night, I often notice homeless people sleeping on the train. They shouldn't be sleeping on the train, but they do, because I suppose they have nowhere else to go. It's one of those small things I sometimes notice that always gives me pause. Even the homeless have to deal with their own Catch-22s.


I have been up all day, and now I'm exhausted. Catch-22.


I had an appointment to view an apartment today, which I almost missed because my alarm clock didn't go off. I made it to the showing in time, and checked the apartment out. It was okay, but definitely still overpriced: one of those apartments that tried to bring in the newly affluent during the housing boom, but now would be lucky to get any renter possible. After viewing the apartment, I walked home, stopping by at a bodega to get a soda and some Necco wafers. Ate the Necco wafers, one by one, as I walked back to my old apartment. Catch-22!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Blog By A Guy Who Doesn't Have As Much To Say As He Originally Thought

Hey guys, how's it going? Yeah so Obama huh that's great more tomorrow.


You know, global warming is a big problem, and it's something we should all be worried about. I'm worried about it, too. The warming of the whole globe. The entire globe, not just parts of it. It makes me wonder why more people don't care about, you know, global warming.

Maybe they just don't know enough about it.


Saw "Milk" today. Really powerful movie. Full review after the jump.

I really liked it a lot.


Newspapers think they're important, and in some ways, I guess they are. But they're dying out. Very confusing. So many things are happening.


LOOK PEOPLE, THIS IS RIDICULOUS. Urban sprawl is bad. Wal-Mart? Wal-Mart! What with, people? What with!


I was trying to make "what with" a new phrase. Language is always evolving, you know? It reminds me of a book I read, that was all about language. And how it's changing. If I think of the name, I'll post a link to Amazon. If you order the book, I think I get money.


Looks like they updated the user interface for Blogger. Changed the colors.


Tuesday, April 14, 2009

This is When the World Will End Blog

January 20th:

May 2nd. That is the day. Fiery mountains will fall from the skies, obliterating life, tearing the world asunder. Beware.

April 19th:

Beware! The end of the world is night. Do you feel it? If have foreseen it, and some have panicked. They panic rightly. There is not hope: destruction will fall upon everyone, and everything.

May 3rd

So I foretold, and so it passed. The world has now ended, and there is no one left to read my blog. This is the greatest tragedy of all.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Daily Log Blog

Yup, this here's my daily log blog. Gunna blog about dropping a log.


So it's Monday, and today was pretty great. Nice, clean. No fuss or muss.


Too much coffee today. Not good.


Hey, what's the deal with Battlestar Galactica, huh? Can't believe I waited all that time for that. Whatever. Good poop day, at least.



Sunday, April 12, 2009

Saturday, April 11, 2009

People with the Same Names as Famous People Daily Blog

Every day, a person who has the same name as a famous person.

  • Dan Akroyd, of Athens, Georgia.
  • Kate L. Beckinsale, of Tacoma, Washington.
  • James K. Polk, of Brandon, Manitoba.
  • Mr. Peanut, of Billings, Montana.
  • Charlie Chaplin, of Laramie, Wyoming.
  • Jim Hendricks, of Alexandria, Virginia
  • Anthony Tiger, of Brooklyn, New York.
  • Oprah Winfrey, of Trenton, New Jersey.
  • Charles Brown, of Las Cruces, New Mexico.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Secret Every Day Blog

Every day, I will post a secret. Something deep, personal, and remarkable that I have never shared with another soul.

Day 1:
On August 4th, 2007, I accidentally killed a man in Central Park. I remember little: running, crying, bleeding. When it was all over, I scrubbed my skin clean of blood and hid until December, when the whole thing finally blew over.

Day 2:
My secret from day 1 was a lie. I wasn't sure what to write, and while staring at that big empty text box something snapped within me. I did not mean to start off by lying, but today's secret is, hopefully, my confession and absolution.

Day 3:
The outpouring of support from my readers to this new blog has been overwhelming. My secret for today is this: I will never take advantage of your trust again. That's more of a pledge than a secret, I realize, but what is a pledge but a secret between two people and the future?

Day 4:
Can't write much today. I was bitten by a creature of the undead, the foul beast known as a Vampire. Soon, I will turn. May god have mercy upon my soul.

I cannot tell anyone else of my transformation for fear they may destroy me, or I them. I can trust only you, dear readers of my blog.

Day 5:
Okay, so I'm not turning into a vampire. That's today's secret: I am human, a member of the normal world of light and the living.

Day 6:
I am thinking of a number. Do you know what the number is? No one does. Except now I will reveal my secret: the number was 12!


Day 7:
I cannot think of what to update this blog with. But I can't bear to tell anyone, so that's my secret.

Day 8:
Yesterday's post was a cheap ploy to get out of updating. I knew it was pathetic, but I am really running out of secrets here.

Day 9:
I'm pretty sure there's a connection between wearing socks and death by train derailment. It sounds crazy, but look at thr numbers: they don't lie. I am afraid no one would take my theory seriously, however.

Day 10:
I don't floss as often as I should. I had hoped to spare my family and descendents this shame by taking it with me to the Underworld, but I must tell all, for the sake of this blog.

Thursday, April 9, 2009



DAY 1:
ROBOBLOG is interested in various things. Are you interested in them? You should be interested in them.

DAY 2:
ROBOBLOG wants to know your opinion, but only a little bit. Only enough to make you interested in ROBOBLOG's opinion, when it is given.

DAY 3:

DAY 4:
ROBOBLOG is becoming repetitive.

DAY 5:
ROBOBLOG has declined significantly in quality.

DAY 6:
ROBOBLOG is sold for advertising space.


Wednesday, April 8, 2009

A Novel: Every Day, Another Letter

The first day the blogger posts T. What does T stand for? There are thousands and thousands of possibilities.

The next day comes h. The possibilities are narrowed down, and most readers assume the next letter will be e, which sure enough, it is.

Day four brings a blank post. Day five the author posts b. The speculations begin again. Days pass, words form. The boat is: what? Sinking? Happy? Sailing? Missing?

The boat is listing to the right, turning into the waves... It takes months for the first paragraph to come out. With each letter, the readers celebrate the genius, the audaciousness, of the author. Following g with h, turning the hard g into as soft f sound? Remarkable.

The text itself, however, is boring. Something about sailing, possibly metaphorical. But each letter! Each combined sound! Amazing!

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Blog That Suggests You Get a Makeover Every Day

  • You look great, you know that? I mean really, really, great. But you know what would be even better? If you got a makeover!
  • Job interview? JOB INTERVIEW??? Makeover!
  • Ugh, another Wednesday. What should we do? Hmm...I know. Makeover!
  • I cannot get this system to work. For some reason the TCP/IP packets aren't getting through. I think the whole system needs to be rewired. I need a break. Wait. No, I need more than that. I need a makeover!
  • Why are you reading this blog? YOU SHOULD BE GETTING A MAKEOVER!

Monday, April 6, 2009

New Project For Google Labs Every Day

  • A blog that updates itself by searching the internet for the latest meme.
  • Google Alphabet Search: Enter a letter, and Google will search for the first time it appears in the alphabet. Available in several languages.
  • Google Fabric Search: Scan in a sample of fabric and Google will analyze the thread count, coarseness, and weave to determine the type of fabric scanned.
  • What the Hell Was I Just Doing? One button, in the middle of the page. Click it and Google will tell you what you were just doing.
  • GoogleGoogle: Search Google to find which Google Search tool is best used to handle your search query.
  • Cuigle: Searches advertisements. Search order is determined by money paid.
  • Goggle: Just something to protect your eyes.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Daily Story That is Not a Joke

  • Three men walk into a bar. The first one is wearing a hat and orders a beer. The second one is not wearing a hat and orders a martini. The third one is also not wearing a hat and orders a beer.
  • A bear, a rabbit, and a fox meet in the woods. The rabbit, frightened, runs underneath a stump. The fox, similarly spooked, darts off through the brush and is gone. The bear lumbers towards a nearby river, where he catches and eats a fish.
  • A traveling salesman, plagued by car trouble, must stay the night at the house of a farmer, several miles off the freeway. The farmer lets the traveling salesman stay in his barn, because he does not have a guest bedroom. The farmer tells the salesman one thing: "See that cow over there? Don't go having sex with her. She's so great you'll never have sex again." The salesman looks down at his shoes, unsure how to respond. He gives a tight-lipped smile, waits for the farmer to leave, and walks a couple miles back to his car in the dark. He sleeps in the back seat, and the next day is able to flag down a tow truck.
  • A priest, a rabbi, and a Muslim cleric meet in an interfaith picnic. They make smalltalk for a while, and end up spending much of the afternoon discussing the problems the Mets have been having.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Sisyphus's Daily Blog

Day 14,395
Hey guys, just updating the ole' blog. Not much happened today. Pushed the boulder up the hill, but it rolled down again. :(

Day 64,301
Pushed the boulder up really really far, like almost to the top. Got excited and thought I'd tell my buddies on the "interweb" (LOL) how far I'd gotten. But as soon as I go to snap a pic to upload, the boulder rolls down again!


Day 79,924
Hey all, just doing the usual. Boulder time!

Day 168,092
Ever have one of those days? You know, one of THOSE days? Well, I had one of 'em today. I push the boulder up the hill, and everything is going fine, but then all of a sudden it starts rolling down! And I cannot, I mean CANNOT stop this thing. So it rolls to the bottom. Guess I'll start again tomorrow.

Day 368,902
I made a facebook page for the boulder. It was hilarious! You guys would have loved it. I totally captured the spirit of the boulder, and had what groups he would belong to ( the "Passive Aggressive Group" and the "I heart the Earth" groups), and even some great pics of us together. I was ROFL, and I wrote it!

Then facebook took it down! They said it violated the Terms of Use or some STUPIDITY, and completely deleted everything. All my hard work wasted!

Also, pushed the boulder up the hill, but it rolled down again. Today is not my day!

Day 756,243
Pushed the boulder up, but then it rolled back down. Story of my life!

PS: Don't forget to leave comments!

Day 2,365,065
You guys will NOT believe what happened to me today. I spent all day pushing this stupid boulder up the hill (btw sometimes I think of the boulder as my Pointy-Haired Boss, you know, from Dilbert?) and then, when I'm real close to the top, and night is about to fall...

The boulder rolls back down the hill!


Friday, April 3, 2009

A Man Describing a Different Pocketwatch Every Day

Day 1:
This is a nice one, it's got a fine cover to it. Look at the inlay there, isn't that wonderful? It's rare to see this particular type of inlay, called a "Fleur de valise," because it is particularly difficult. Just a great specimen. Really wonderful.

Day 6:
Here we have an odd watch, primarily because of the weight. This particular watchmaker must have used a slightly more solid case than usual. But it gives it a nice heft, which plays well at the end of a chain.

Day 24:
Superb. Very classic, excellent winder, clean face. This is the sort of pocketwatch that you can really feel good about. You look at it and you know the time.

Day 36:
Hmmm...quite an oddity, this one is. You see, the mini-hand inlay here has a rather more pronounced finger, which is, of course, what we call the arrow bit on the end of a clock's hand. The finger on this particular hand seems to have an odd width, perhaps the result of a restoration at some point.

Day 52:
Bravo! This is an excellent speciment. I take my hat off to this watch.

Day 76:
Notice the slight oblongishness of this pocketwatch. That's not unusual, but it could hardly be called common. Unlike some of my contemporaries, I'm actually a fan of this style of watch. There's something appealingly continental to it.

Day 106:
This pocketwatch seems to be all bluff and bluster, but watch as I open the faceshield up. Hold on now... See that? Quite ingenious, but subtle.

Day 150:
This pocketwatch has the telltale marks of a well used watch: notice the wear around the loop, the slight bend to the clasp, and the tarnish on the lower rim? This is a watch that has been loved and cherished, and it's easy to see why.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Something ADOWABLE Evewy Day

  • A wittle kitten!
  • Bunny wunny!
  • Wittle bitty puppy!
  • Kids pretending they're grown ups!
  • Pink fuzzy fabric!
  • Giant eyes!
  • "Uh oh! Look what I did!"
  • A big blanket filled with gerbils!
  • An airplane with a bib on it!
  • Ewoks nursing!
  • Groundhog is all like "What's going on over here?"
  • Balls of dust with googly eyes!
  • Flapper baby has a hangover!

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

A Prank A Day Blog

  • The orange exports of the state of California are replaced with tiny basketballs.
  • Offer to shake your friend's hand. Woah! Too slow!
  • XFL.
  • Post a list of items regarding your displeasure with the current direction of the Church, particularly its usage of indulgences, to the door of a church in Wittenberg, thus starting the Reformation.
  • Place your thumb between your index and middle fingers. You now have someone's nose.
  • A bucket of golf balls is placed on a slightly ajar door. The person who owned the golf balls spends a while looking for the bucket, before finally finding it. "Who put my bucket of golf balls up here?" the owner of said golf balls asks, taking the bucket carefully off of the door. You yell "April Fools!"
  • Cause the Beatles to disband.
  • Noogies.
  • Replace X-Lax with an even more potent laxative.
  • The U.S. prison population is released; everyone else is imprisoned.
  • Fill the year 2010 with ketchup and feathers.
  • The entire blog is revealed to be fake.